"Success is getting what you want, Happiness is wanting what you get"  Ingrid Bergman. 

Having been asked the question on radio my initial response was that we are about as happy as we make up our minds to be. But then realising this wasn't going to fill the two-minute slot, I expanded...

Once our basic needs are met we seek ways to become further fulfilled in life. If you think of our needs in a hierarchy where at the bottom are our basic needs such as food, shelter and water. Once we have satisfied those needs we move on to wanting greater things. We move up the hierarchy where other needs are required to fulfill us and make us happy, such as relationships, family, friends, home, cars; and we each have our own version of what's important to us. As we continue to move up the hierarchy and meet those needs we continue to seek more and more, and so happiness and fulfillment seems as if they are always just one step away. 

But what happens when some of our needs further down the hierarchy are challenged? We may lose our job, our home, or find that we can't put food on the table. All of a sudden what it takes to be happy is now satisfied at a much lower level than before, until of course we get back on the cycle of wanting more and more again. 

So what's at the top of our hierarchy? Where does it end and when will we be happy? 

At some point in our lives we come to the realisation that we are chasing happiness away, and just by standing still for a moment and appreciating all that we have, we begin to realise that we already have all we need to be happy, and that we had it all along.  

Yes, the nice home, cars and holidays all contribute to our happiness, but they cannot make you happy unless you are in some way happy first.  

Our happiness has a direct connection with our expectations. When we expect either positive or negative things to happen we switch on our 'radar' to seek out those things that support our expectations. We change our behaviour based on what we expect so we either display self-defeating or self-motivating behaviour. Then, as a direct result of our behaviour, we get the results we seek.

When happiness is expected we essentially 'filter-in' to our lives the things that will support our happiness, and 'filter-out' those things that don't. 

You can decide to be happy right now. If you have ever been happy before you know what it looks and feels like so you can choose to get into that "space" right now and feel it again. If that only gives a temporary fix, then I would suggest writing out a list of 50 things that make you happy, and then 50 things you are thankful and grateful for in your live. 

If you would like to learn more about how to be happy or how personal coaching could help you or someone you know then please contact me for a free taster coaching session to see if it's something that could work for you.