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Newsletter 16, Sept 2009: You don't know what you've got till it's gone
Newsletter
"Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot"
From Joni Mitchells' "Big Yellow Taxi" first released in 1970, and has been covered many times since.
It struck me yesterday while having lunch out, the Sun was shining and I thought how lucky I was to be able to spend time with people I love, doing what I love and in a place that I love.
Then I thought, hang on a minute, my life is exactly the way I want it, give or take a few tweaks, but it's how I planned it to be and I hadn't even realised.
Ok maybe I don't have some of the goals or material things that are still on the list to achieve, but just by sitting back and appreciating the things I do have I found myself feeling very grateful with my lot, and that led to a huge smile for the rest of the day.
As a general rule, I think we all tend to focus on the things that we don't have, or aren't quite right in our lives instead of appreciating the things we should be grateful for. As Joni Mitchell put it "You don't know what you've got till it's gone" and then it really is too late to appreciate it.
So what is it you are grateful for in your life right now? What are you not appreciating for what it is?
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate
"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon, instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today" Dale Carnegie
We all do it. We all have times that we wish things were different than they are, whether it's more of this or less of that we tend to focus on what life will be like in the future, instead of living in the present and enjoying it for what it is.
We say stuff to ourselves like "When I get that new car / job / house / partner I will be happy" And if we are not living in the future, we think about how much better things were in the past... "If only I could fit into those jeans I used to wear" Sound familar?
At what point did we start doing this? What is so awful about right here and now that we don't want to be present with it? Why are we so eager to get to the point when we can have or be what we want?
I totally believe in having goals and a focus or purpose in what you are doing, so much so that most of my coaching is getting my clients to a place they would prefer to be. However, enjoying the journey getting there is as important as the goal itself.
But how do you enjoy where you are right now and live in the present if it's really not a good place? Well, if you really are in the gutter then, as they say, you can only look up. But in any situation you find yourself in, it's about taking time to look at what's good about your life. What 50 things are there to be appreciative of right now? (Yes 50!!) What are you taking for granted? What do you need to acknowledge and celebrate in your life?
In the book 'The Secret', Dr Joe Vitale says "as soon as you start to feel different about what you already have, you will start to attract more of the good things. More of the things that you can be grateful for. You could look around and say that you don't have the car you want, the house you want or the health you want, but back up - those are things you don't want. Focus on what you already have that you're grateful for, and it might be the clothes you have. Yes you might prefer something else and you might get something else pretty soon, if you start feeling grateful for what you have"
For some this comes easier than for others, but only because it's a learnt behaviour. If you want to get into the habit of being grateful and celebrating your life more, then a simple first step is to say "thankyou" every morning as you wake. As you walk to the bathroom, keep saying thankyou for 'x', thankyou for 'y', while you brush your teeth remember some of the 50 things on your gratitude list (laminate it and stick it in the shower!).
Do this for a few days and then let me know how things are different for you, send me an email with how you feel, what's going on for you and what amazing things have happened.
Seriously... If you really want to be happy right now, then make that decision to be grateful.
If you would like to learn more about how gratitude can improve your life or how personal coaching could help you or someone you know then please contact me for a free taster coaching session to see if it's something that could work for you.
