"The meaning of your communication is the reaction you get from it"

We are all unique, not just physically, but in our mind too. The way we think, what we think, the beliefs we have and the values we live our life by. That is why, when there is more than one of us experiencing the same thing, maybe a discussion or listening to the news, we each take something different from it, interpret it in a way that makes sense in our own map of the world.

So when it comes to communicating with others, whether that is our partner, children, colleagues or anyone, we talk and behave in a way that makes perfect sense to us. However, the interpretation of our communication can often end up having a totally different meaning to the one intended.

How does that work?

We all live our lives through our own 'map of the world', which has been created for us, by us, through our life experiences, beliefs we've taken on including our insecurities, and thoughts on just about everything. So when we hear or see something, we use this 'map' to translate what it means to us and add meaning accordingly.   

If the same words can provoke a different reaction in different people, we need to think more carefully about what and how we communicate so it is tailored to the person and how they think in order to get our meaning across and ultimately get the result we want.

How do you know or find out how other people think?  Listen. What is important to them will be what they focus on and talk about the most.

In close relationships, communication blunders are common. Take for example a wife who phones her husband from work saying she is going to be late home due to her workload. The husband, who has values around 'security' and beliefs around 'women aren't to be trusted’, could interpret that simple communication to mean all sorts of things that it isn't. If knowing this, her communication was more tailored in a way to talk to him according to his 'map', she can also say something to ensure the intended meaning was the one communicated.

We just don't know what experiences others have had to lead to the beliefs that they hold. We may not be able to understand them and even find them ridiculous, but then I'm sure we all have some of our own beliefs that others may not comprehend either!  

Effective communication is a life skill that we can continue to improve all our lives. If we just become more aware of the response we get from our communication (facial expression, body language or any reaction), we can make a judgement on whether the true intention of our communication has been understood, and if not make an effort to correct it.

With more effective communication, we begin to get the right reactions, and then the results we are after. 

If you would like to learn more about effective personal communication then please contact me for a free taster coaching session to see if it's something that could work for you.  

Start getting the desired results from your communication.