What connects us as friends, acquaintances, followers on social media is this sense of having something in common.

We are naturally attracted to people we like who share a bond with us.

Have you had the experience of being in a physical space with people and you felt a natural attraction towards someone? Now this doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual attraction (although that is probably the best example) but an attraction towards other people that become good friends?

I have found this extends to social media too. With so many people I don’t know popping up on my Facebook news feed there are a few that I stop to read even though I don’t know them. Now I must explain here that the reason I ‘friend’ so many people I don’t know is because we have a common interest, which in my case is autism, personal development or business. These communities across all social media is huge and I find myself making good friends with people I don’t know because of this mutual interest and also because there is something about the things they post, what they say and how they show up in the world that attracts me. There are others that I really should unfriend too even though we have a mutual interest they disengage me for the opposite reasons.

How someone portrays themselves is neither right nor wrong and I am not making judgement here just pointing out that I am attracted to some people for the things they say and the way they are and repelled by others for the same reasons.

So want is it that attracts or repels us to other people either in the physical or digital world?

It is our values. We all live our life to a set of values we have acquired over time and which can change over time too. Our values are the things that are most important to us and give us the feelings we seek to make us feel good every day. As an example I will share with you some of my values when online.

I value people having:
Honesty, authenticity and integrity.
A sense of presence – someone who can shine a light on themselves without the ego needing to show off.
A graceful, grateful and vulnerable disposition (what I believe to be personality strengths).
A positive outlook.
The ability to put across a sales message without a loud and brash approach to sales – if someone really values what they sell and trust that it helps others then they can be authentic with this and attract the right clients.
Good manners.
The basic skills of spelling and use of appropriate grammar (I am not perfect here but I appreciate good use of language).

These are my filters that attract people I want to connect with more and they have been pretty good so far in helping me to make some really great friends I wouldn’t have otherwise met, and my life is so much richer for them being my friends.

During this month of April and autism awareness I have blogged every day as part of a challenge with others I have met online. The experience has been fabulous and I have met even more new friends along the way. I hope it has given you the chance to get to know me a little better too and get a sense of where I am coming from. If what I have written over the last 30 days resonates with you then I am pleased and hope it has been a help in some way

With love and gratitude

Nadine.