Thinking about your goals and resolutions for 2013, are they more reflective of your fears than your desires? Do you want more money because you fear not having enough? Do you want to lose weight because you fear your partner won’t love you as much?

“Successful people focus on what they want, the rest focus on what they fear.” This is a quote from an amazing super coach Michael Neill, he made this point about most people’s stated goals are more about their fears than their desires.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because at least you’re focusing on a solution, rather than a problem. But while some of the details about your life might change as a result, you are still the ‘limited’ you that creates your problems and fears.

What this means is that while you can improve some things with the achievement of your goals, for example creating a better life with more money, new job, better house etc, YOU are the same person living with the same fears about not having enough money, not getting the recognition you seek or wanting social status etc. It’s just “rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic” so to speak.

So how do we escape those limiting thoughts and begin to see beyond our fears?

Recognise that you are already enough. Not because of what you’re achieved but because of who you really are. While there may be skills you wish to learn, things you want to change and goals you still want to achieve, who you are is already enough.

Recognise you are already there. What you think you’ll get once you’ve made some changes or achieved the goals, you already have – and you’ve always had – you’ve just stopped yourself from experiencing that reality by thinking you should be somewhere or someone else. Let go of the struggle and know that you are already there.

Recognise that there is nothing you need to be, do, have, learn or change in order to be happy, complete and whole. You are already amazing, wonderful and brilliant.

When you recognise that who you are has nothing to do with what you achieve, a lot of what you thought you wanted tends to go away, and achieving what’s left becomes a lot easier.

So accept yourself exactly as you are. When you accept yourself you relax and the process of personal growth and development becomes easier too.

I sincerely hope that you’re still on track with any resolutions and goals you have set yourself for this year. If you have come across a challenge then just re-focus on the reasons you wanted to make that change. Connect with the emotions of having achieved your goal and just start to take action again. Changing our behaviours and habits is like learning to ride a bike! You are likely to fall off a few times, so just get back on and go again.

With love and gratitude

Nadine.