When I first started to connect on Facebook with other parents who have children with autism it opened my eyes to this new world. I thought as a community with a common interest we would be all coming from the same place with regards to what we were experiencing and what it was we wanted to ‘change’. It was soon apparent that was not the case and the extreme views and opinions on everything from cause to cure and all in between was quite remarkable.

I found myself reading one thing and agreeing with it, then reading an opposing view and agreeing with that too. With anything new it takes a while to centre yourself while you literally ‘process’ the information you are learning to find where you stand with it all.

There are a number of areas of debate in the autism world that divide people. Probably the most emotive is around the causes of autism, and from genetics to vaccines we all seem to have a different viewpoint. When this debate rages on the walls of Facebook from time to time the single most aired argument for any side is personal experience. So why does this argument have to go on? Surely if we can all agree that there are many causes and factors that lead to autism, we can understand that one person’s experience will form their belief and another person’s different experience will form theirs. Personally I can accept anyone’s opinion of the cause of autism in their son / daughter / family member and respect them for that belief even if it is different from the one I hold for my son’s autism. The point is that autism is symptomatic of a variety of different causes and influencing factors so no wonder there are many different experiences of it.

Another debate is around whether autism is a disability, a condition or a difference. I have read many articles and opinions around this one too and again I have to say I don’t believe there is one right answer to this either. The only one that can answer that question for themselves is that person with autism, and whether they feel they are disabled by it, view it as something they have but are not defined by it, or know that they are just different as a result of it. It is a spectrum which therefore implies that autism can be all of them.

This also links in with the question of a ‘cure’ too. I completely understand the view of friends with autism that the topic of finding a cure makes them feel as if they are deemed worthless. I also believe in any treatment or therapy that can help Tommy live a more pain-free life and is something I would (and do) consider. This debate on ‘curing’ autism often comes from differing views about what autism is, and whether the more medical conditions that are associated with autism are included in the description of the autism they are talking about.

I really find it helpful when talking about autism to make the distinction between the autism and the other associated conditions that can confuse the definition. Tommy has a learning disability, a sensory processing disorder and gastrointestinal problems too and I very often just lump this all under the label of autism, when in fact it would be more helpful if referred to them separately. That way I can say that yes we are working to cure his gut issues, however his personality which is influenced by his autism is just who he is and we love him for it.

Autism is a hugely complex area for debate and discussion in many areas and I’m only slightly touching on just a few topics here.

I’m always up for a ‘grown up’ chat about anything to do with autism though, so please let me know what you think.

With love and gratitude

Nadine.