Over this month of blogging I have touched on fear, procrastination, forgiveness, happiness and more…. and I now just want to go a bit deeper.

One of the insights I have had recently is that when we are most happy and joyful in our lives, we are ‘in flow’ with the Universe and connecting back to our source completely open and allowing all that we want and desire to be received. Now when I speak about our ‘source’ I am referring to whatever you might regard as your creator in either a religious, spiritualist, scientific or whatever way you see it sense. I choose to call it the ‘Universe’.

At times when we are in fear or reacting in a negative way we block that flow and it becomes a barrier to that joyful stream of happiness in which we can achieve anything and be, do or have anything we desire.

Over the years we have learnt what makes us happy and unhappy, we’ve also learnt what we like to move towards (desire based) and what we prefer to move away from (fear based). As were learning these things we formed many new beliefs about ourselves and the world in which we live. Like a network of connections, our brain is being wired all the time as we take on these new learnings and establish new beliefs. Some of those connections are the type that stop us from living the life we would choose as they come from fear. In fact, it’s those fearful ones we install quickly and effectively and so it’s no wonder that it becomes so much more difficult to be in that flow of life when there are so many blocks in the way that we have created consciously or otherwise.

I can recall a significant childhood memory when one of these fearful connections was made for me. I was actually being in that moment of ecstatic joy when the full flow of the Universe and my source energy was surging through me. I was around 5 years old and playing ‘catch’ in the school playground. I was completely in the moment and full of happiness, joy and energy at the anticipation of this game. So much so that it got to a point where it overloaded and I couldn’t contain all this excitement. In that moment I grabbed the arm of the nearest child and bit it hard. My intention was not to hurt another. My intention was purely a reaction to the heightened state of excitement and having to let some of that ‘energy’ out.

The outcome of my action was to be publicly scolded in front of the entire school ground of children. I think at the time the teachers believed in public humiliation as their basis for teaching me that biting was wrong. Little did they know or understand of the long term effect this public scolding would have on me throughout my life.

From a deeper understanding of the laws of the Universe I now realise that my inability to be in that complete flow of life with the feelings of ecstatic joy and happiness stems from that key anchor point which created the belief that being in that joyful state leads to great pain and therefore is to be avoided.

In fact only recently have I come to understand why I have the habit of whenever I am pleased with myself or feel deep happiness or joy, that I hold both my hands in a right grip over my mouth. For years my family just thought it was just an odd habit I had picked up and I have been mocked for that too.

I am learning new responses now and re-programming my ability to be excited, joyful and happy and be able to fully express these emotions too without fear.

We all have our journeys that consist of a series of learning points and anchor moments that cement in the beliefs we hold, and as these are mostly taken on at an early age it is our parents, teachers and significant others around us that provide them and set up our programming. But where they get it from to pass on? I guess from their parents, carers, teachers and significant others in their lives.

That being so, does it mean we are continuously passing on the same old beliefs and values down the generations and is there a ‘get out’ clause that can alter this sometimes inevitable process?

It seems that as we grow older and wiser ourselves we begin to see how some of the beliefs and values we inadvertently took on can be, and need to be, changed in order for us to fulfil our own lives the way we feel more at home with. By this I mean beginning to understand what is really true for us and noticing when some of those beliefs that pop up start to feel a little out of sync with who we are. Now it takes some courage at times to acknowledge this and change as the very thought that we could be wrong sends us into all kinds of emotions that challenge our ego.

I also think we can only do this when we surround ourselves with other inspiring people that didn’t grow up in the map of the world we did and therefore have their own view of the world. Sometimes we come across a viewpoint or way of thinking that seems better than what we know and our mind is expanded in a way that can’t be retracted after that. Once you realise something and it resonates with you it seems you cannot un-know it again.

It is my amazing group of friends that inspire me and have supported me through all of it. A group of friends that see the very best in me when I can’t see it for myself. I have learnt over the years to kindly say goodbye to those people in my life that just drained me instead and now only choose those I feel a soul connection with.

It is wise to surround yourself with people who lift you up and can provide that blanket of positivity when you need it. Such a group of friends allow you to do the same for them too. Choose them wisely.

With love and gratitude

Nadine.